Comebacks

Luke Warm Pizza is TWWL’s morning headlines
(Lohan returns to form. Skinny, long red hair, and huge tits? Works for me.) More at 205th.com

The comebacks of Chad Pennington and Tarvaris Jackson came to a horrible crashing end yesterday. Kurt Warner’s and Donovan McNabb’s, after a benching, will continue for one more week.

Someone please tell ESPN that they can stop the ‘North Carolina may go undefeated talk’.

Colt McCoy Sort of Looks Retarded

It’s just an observation..but I do think he’ll have a ‘special’ game in tonight Fiesta Bowl.

Sarah Palin To Drop Puck in Philly

Luke Warm Pizza is TWWL’s morning headlines
(What is it about Lindsay Lohan that I love so much? Oh, that’s right, it’s her rack! My Chill Pill)

VP Candidate To Open Flyers/Rangers Game
The Flyers held some sort of ‘Ultimate Hockey Mom’ promotion and the winner, along with Republican VP Candidate Sarah Palin, will drop the first puck at the Flyers/Rangers game Saturday in Philadelphia.

The Flyers will award all hockey moms entered into the contest with a free “puck-er peach” lipstick and four tickets to a minor league hockey game.

No confirmation that each contestant will also get a copy of Larry Flint’s new movie ‘Nailin’ Palin’. (NY Daily News)

Second Only To Elgin Baylor
Carl Peterson has been at the helm for the KC Chiefs for nearly 2 decades. Jason Whitlock aka Captain Obvious says it’s time for a change.(KC Star)

Thug News
Scumbag Charged in Darrent Williams Murder (Denver Post)

PacMan Jones is a Saint (FanNation)

Jason Whitlock Phones It In

Around The Interruption is TWWL’s afternoon update

Not All Fat People Are This Lazy
When I opened my Kansas City Star Sports Section today (as a former paper boy I do still love to open the paper rather just read it on the internets) I was shocked. Seeing Jason Whitlock’s headline made me think ‘Hmmm fat and lazy’.

Not only is Jason using the tired old ‘open letter to public figure’ shtick but Whitlock flashes his hard on for Jeff George..again. Whitlock breaks out the ‘somebody hire Jeff George’ deal several times each year.

Last week Whitlock begged Bill Belichick not to play Tom Brady against the Chiefs because he could suffer an injury.

If you stick Brady out there on Sunday, one of the Chiefs’ defensive linemen could get pancake-blocked into the back of Brady’s legs.

Dear Jason-
TWWL knows that your job is not easy. It’s difficult to be creative, funny and compelling all the time. But this is not acceptable. Put down the Gate’s BBQ and write a real column.

If you need some advice. Call me.

Sincerely,
TWWL

That’s all for this afternoon. TWWL needs a nap.

Jonathan Papelbon Hates Manny

Around The Interruption is TWWL’s afternoon update
(Why Lohan? Breaking news: She’s not gay)

Cinco Ocho Tired of ‘Manny Being a Jackass’

Pay close attention, over Papelbon’s right shoulder you can see Erin Andrews in a lovely flowery sundress.

This ATI is a little short. TWWL has to catch a flight to our nation’s capital.

Luke Warm Pizza

You Don’t Mess with The Lohan. (Lindsay Lohan returns to form on the set of her new movie ‘Labor Pains’. Keep flashing that belly and I’ll get ‘Groin Pains’)
Luke Warm Pizza is TWWL’s morning headlines.

From The Yards
Blue Jays 14 Reds 1 Bronson Arroyo goes 1IP 11H 10R 10ER 3HR something that had never been done in the history of baseball.

Royals 7 Rockies 3 KC has won 4 in a row, 9 of 10, and is 11-3 vs. NL. Wait. What? Zack Greinke was not outstanding but got the W.

Mariners 11 Mets 0 Jerry Manuel was lucky enough to be able to leave early. The fertilizer in the stands, not so fortunate.

Bulldogs 19 Bulldogs 10 Fresno State evens the CWS at 1-1. The deciding Game 3 tonight.

MLB Scoreboard and Standings

Thug News
‘Bama LB Busted for Cocaine – Senior LB Jimmy Johns is the latest of Nick Saban’s problems.

Sheriff Takes Shaq’s Badge- I can’t decide whether this is Thug News or not. Shaq’s dirty rap about Kobe has cost him his Deputy Sheriff gig. (Sports Illustrated)

Wimbledon
Sharapova Looks Great Britain’s #1 Quality newspaper reports that Maria Sharapova looks hot. That’s quality alright.

Luke Warm Pizza

Luke Warm Pizza is TWWL’s morning headlines. (Double L with the cup)

Ice Hockey
Penguins 4 Redwings 3 – Yes! TWWL is leading with Ice Hockey and the quest for Lord Stanley’s Cup. Last night Pittsburgh stayed alive with a 3 OT thriller. Detroit still leads the series 3-2. Game 6 Wednesdee..I’ll need two pickets to Tittsburgh! (Post Gazette)

From The Yards
Phillies 5 Reds 4 – 3 Philly HRs are enough to hold off Bruce Almighty and the Cincinnatis.

Twins 6 Yanks 5 – Joba not available in last night’s 8th inning because he’s making his 1st start tonight. So instead the ball goes to Kyle Farnsworth with predictable results.

Complete MLB Scoreboard

Panic in Boston – I doubt they’re worried and that, in and of itself, is too bad. The Sawx have been winning too much and their fans don’t remember what it’s like to have your hopes and dreams crushed. Maybe with Big Papi headed for the DL they’ll remember the old days of blowing division leads, post season meltdowns, and letting the World Series slip out of your hands. Here’s hoping.

Fire Ozzie? TWWL would be more like to pay attention if it wasn’t Jay Mariotti making the plea. Ozzie is in trouble for calling out his boss but does anybody fire a manager when you’re in 1st?

NFL
T.O. Gets New Deal – Attention starved screaming jackass Terrell Owens has a new deal with Dallas. (3 years $27 million). Maybe now he can afford some decent attire and gain access to Vegas nightclubs. TWWL can’t even imagine what it’s going to be like in Dallas with Owens and now Pacman getting the OK to participate.